Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

Our hands intertwined, my large ivory dress, with scarlet trim barely allowing me in the seat as the band started playing. A crumpled damp tissue clenched in my fist, I dabbed my eyes for the hundredth time as I tried to keep the mascara in place. My heart was swollen, still overwhelmed by Brian’s declaration of love. I had cried in front of all of our family and friends, something I never ever would have voluntarily done. Tears were for the shower, when you were alone and the cascading water could drown out the sobs and wash them away down the drain never to be mentioned again. I had been caught off guard, not by the speech, I knew it was planned, what I did not know was the words that would come from deep within his heart, exposed for all to hear, intimate and crafted with care. Never spoken at our first wedding, generic and thrown together within a couple of weeks, filled with regret and sadness. This time, five years later, meaning so much more than our first vows ever would. Our faith came through with every word. God was the center of our marriage now and forever more, the renewal of our vows a testament to what He had done in our lives.  It was important to us, that our girls and our family and friends know our hearts and see the declaration of our souls back to Him, and our love to one another.

You stood before creation

Eternity within Your hand

You spoke the earth into motion

My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure

Carried the Cross for my shame

My sin weighed upon Your shoulders

My soul now to stand

I sang, whisper soft, letting the words wash over me, through me. They penetrated my heart, the events of the day settling in, growing outward in the form of a smile. My hand enclosed in Brian’s, sweaty and familiar.

So what can I say

What can I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation

Your Spirit alive in me

This life to declare Your promise

My soul now to stand

So what can I say

What can I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

So I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

I bolted out of my chair, eyes, scrunched shut, the tears streamed. My voice came out loud and strong from deep inside. Our hands no longer clasped, now outstretched upwards toward the heavens. I swayed, cradled by the music, the love I had for Him. He had given me the great gift of Brian I love this man and our two girls Precious beyond belief. I was absolutely in love, filled to the brim with emotions, they churned inside yet with peace and understanding. Thankfulness.

So I'll stand

My soul Lord to You surrendered

All I am is Yours

Everyone, everything melted completely away.

Just me.

Just Him.

I believe.

Immense joy swelled within my heart.

So what can I say

What can I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

This post was written for the prompt over at The Red Dress Club.

Last year I learned that some friends from church had started something absolutely brilliant. In fact I was in shear awe of the whole idea and instantly tried to put it into practice. Which actually turned into a lot of talking to friends about how great the idea was and that we all agreed we needed to do it and then nothing ever came from it. We sat on brilliance for months. We were crazy!

Somehow it came up in conversation with friends, Tammy and Lyndsi, after dropping the kids off at Awana and the rest is history.

Our Babysitting Co-op was *finally* born!

Two date nights with the husband and then one night of watching all eight kiddos!

It’s really fun to see how excited the kids get when we say it’s co-op night. They love it just as much as we do because they get to play with their friends! In nice weather we have them play outside until it gets dark and then we put on a movie with popcorn to share. During the cold months we might need to have some crafts/indoor activities for them before movie time.

Having consistent couple time away from the kids is very important to a marriage. Brian and I get to reconnect over dinner, try new things, see movies, go shopping, do fun activities just the two of us!

One of the greatest perks… FREE BABYSITTING!

It has been a true blessing. We don’t have a babysitter, nor could we really afford to use one if we did. The grandparents watch the kids, but I try really hard not to take advantage of that.

Lyndsi took the above picture of all the kiddos the second time we did co-op, a week after Alex had broken his arm on Easter 2010!

Are you participating in a babysitting co-op?

If not, would you start one?

Brian and I have been married for 8 years.

We’ve known each other for 11 years.

I love this man.

Our relationship has had many incredible ups and crushing downs.

No matter the blessings or hardships, we are one.

We might be on opposite sides of an argument, yet we are still one.

I know him through and through.

He makes me smile.

He makes me laugh.

He makes me feel loved and cared for.

Tonight he was sharing a conversation with me.

Showing me that there is proof that people see the Lord working in us, through us.

Then the following exchange happened.

Brian (kneeling next to me and starting to lean forward) : “I have an urge to do something to you.”

Me: “Please, don’t give me a raspberry!”

Brian (laughing as he gets up):  “How did you know I was going to do that!”

Me: “Because I know you!”

I am happy.

I am secure.

I wouldn’t change anything for the world!

This is love…

I have been struggling lately.

My emotions an insane rollercoaster.

Each day, hour, minute, second has me on a different section of track.

Climbing.

Falling.

Loop-de-loops.

Eyes shut tight.

Eyes wide open.

Laughing.

Smiling.

Screaming.

Two questions have been asked in love:

Am I fully willing to release my agenda, even if it means the death of a dream, and entrust myself to God’s agenda?

Am I fully willing to entrust myself to Brian and his leadership as God’s representative for my life path?

My sinful need for control wants to completely dismiss these challenges.

I want off this emotional rollercoaster.

But….

My ultimate desire is to take these questions and fully examine my heart and where it lines up with God.

Brokenness always leads me to Christ.

So bring on the pain.

I want to grow in Him.