May Angel Star

Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

I have been struggling lately.

My emotions an insane rollercoaster.

Each day, hour, minute, second has me on a different section of track.

Climbing.

Falling.

Loop-de-loops.

Eyes shut tight.

Eyes wide open.

Laughing.

Smiling.

Screaming.

Two questions have been asked in love:

Am I fully willing to release my agenda, even if it means the death of a dream, and entrust myself to God’s agenda?

Am I fully willing to entrust myself to Brian and his leadership as God’s representative for my life path?

My sinful need for control wants to completely dismiss these challenges.

I want off this emotional rollercoaster.

But….

My ultimate desire is to take these questions and fully examine my heart and where it lines up with God.

Brokenness always leads me to Christ.

So bring on the pain.

I want to grow in Him.

Welcome to the  Cloth Diaper Carnival 4 organized by Kim over at Dirty Diaper Laundry.  I came across this blog carnival while doing roll call on SITS this morning. Tracey had commented before I did and I went to check out her blog and send her some comment love! I had been struggling to come up with something to blog about tonight. I wanted to post something, anything, but what?

Then Brian said something that really got my panties in a bunch, and I was going to vent it out, try to reflect on why his opinions made me so darn angry, maybe come to some sort of closure. Not going to happen, coming across this lovely Cloth Diaper carnival has given me a new topic and I’m glad for it. I need to stew a wee bit more I think, not exactly the healthiest thing, but hey, I never said I was perfect. So, onwards and upwards….

Where did you learn about Cloth Diapers?

I have no clue. I’m sure it was a message board. Probably the young moms message board I belonged to during my pregnancies with Brianna and Katie. Someone was CDing their baby and so I briefly looked into it. I came across Happy Heinys back when it was just a WAHM site and thought they were amazingly cute, so I ordered two. An adorable hot pink and white gingham, with flowers, and a white with a light pink angel pattern. They arrived in the mail and I excitedly tore open the package and immediately put them on Brianna, who was around 16 months at the time. Within the first 20 minutes she pooped in it and I was thrilled. Why I’m not sure. I washed them up, and thought, this cloth diapering thing is an awesome idea. So easy, fashionable and reusable! You can’t go wrong. I brought them in to work with me and showed off those diapers with a big grin, telling everyone how awesome they were and how I couldn’t wait to order more!

Then came the comments from both Brian and my Mother, all of which were negative. The fact that my Mom was the one babysitting Brianna while I was at work and the non-support from my husband made me ix-nay doing cloth full time.

I thought about doing it with Katie. Looked at all the information and as soon as I brought it up I was shot down with more negative feedback, this time in the form of my Mom and another family member, Brian wasn’t a fan either. So no go for Katie.

Alex was a different story. I was beyond determined and finally had the mindset of, I’m doing this whether you approve or not. It’s my life, I’ll live it how I choose and gosh darn it, I choose to cloth diaper my son! IRL friends all thought I was crazy, well one thought it was cool, but she’s a hippy at heart and another is a cloth diapering, baby wearing, attachment parenting, green goddess, or at least that’s what I think of her!  Brian for some reason was totally on board, probably when I showed him the money we would save in the long run.

I got expert advice from my friends Alissa, Maria and Crystal. I talked it over endlessly with my dear friend Ella until I was blue in the face. Then I went for it and bought a bunch of bumGenius diapers from Alissa’s store Sprout Soup and some second hand Drybees from Crystal. Maria had also given me the cutest little Mosaic Moon diaper with turtles on it for Alex when she sent me the diaper bag she made me!

Now I sincerely cannot imagine a life without cloth diapering! I absolutely love it, even if I’m hunched over the toilet, spraying off the grossest of poops with a diaper sprayer (a definite must have!)

Plus, the decision to use cloth changed me. It was a decision met with so much negativity and I could have let it beat me down like I had previously, but instead I chose to rise above it and do what I knew deep down in my heart was right for me and my child!

It also goes to show how important it is to have a husband who listens, and even when they don’t fully grasp it or understand it, supports what is important to you!

My son has fluffy buns, and I wouldn’t turn back for the world!

Alex’s first day in cloth in one of the diapers I had gotten from Crystal!

Watch Sports Center on ESPN all morning long, paying the most attention to your husbands favorite team. Learn all you can and committ it to memory.

When your husband comes home from a long day at work, shoot the breeze with him about all you learned.

Brian came home and started talking about the Phillies signing someone. I said, yeah, that pitcher guy. He played on the Mets. Then as he continued the conversation, I was able to share my knowledge about the Phillies being in 1st place. That the Marlins were 4 games behind them and that they were playing the Marlins on Thursday.

He arched his eyebrows in surprise.

I asked the all important question, Did that turn you on?

He said, yeah, it kind of did.

Sweet, I’m going to have to start watching ESPN more often.

Right now I’m watching the Home Run Derby, which isn’t torture, because I actually find it exciting and fun. Brian isn’t even home right now, I’m totally earning wife points here! Tomorrow night is the All-Star Game. Lots of Phillies guys playing. I’ll be snuggled up on the couch with Brian watching it.

If your husband is a sports nut, you should try this.

Maybe you’ll get lucky too!

Okay, so the first time I had ever used a lawn mower was when I was a junior in high school, 12 years ago. It was started for me and all I had to do was push it where I was directed, which was basically a quarter of the lawn.

That was the last time I had ever done it.

Until today that is!

This morning, on a whim, I decided to mow the lawn. It needed to be done and Brian was booked pretty solid for the rest of the week. I thought about all the awesome wife points I would earn if I took on this challenge and succeeded. Definitely worth the effort and the look of surprise on Brian’s face when he came home from work.

First things first, I had to clean off the stroller from yesterday. Alex had eaten some arrowroot cookies and the remains of what had been the cookies were smeared all over. Once it was cleaned and Alex was securely strapped in, with a handful of cheerios placed on the tray, I set to work.

I had to get everything off the lawn mower. I had cleaned the garage enough for both vehicles to fit inside, but some of the stuff that still needed a home ended up perched on top of the mower. Once that was off to the side and I had rolled it off the ledge, the next order of business arrived.

I made a call to Kendra. I know Kendra has mowed on numerous occasions and I needed her expertise. I made her promise not to laugh at me and then I asked her how to turn the mower on. She told me I had to push a button 3 times. I looked and looked and could not find this button anywhere. I came to the conclusion that this mower must not have a button, and that I would try to start it. If I had any problems I would call her right back.

I wheeled the mower down to the sidewalk. I held the red handle down, and pulled the pull thingy (yes, that is the technical term for it!) and nothing happened. I pulled it a dozen times at least. All the while blushing in embarrassment, while I thought of the people that must be staring through their blinds at me while I made a complete fool out of myself. I wheeled the mower back into the garage and picked up the phone, started calling Kendra, when I made the discovery. I hung up, took a closer look and there right in front of the mower was the button I was supposed to push 3 times.

I brought it back to the sidewalk, pushed said button those 3 times to “prime” the engine. I held the red handle, pulled the pull thingy and it started right up! I was beyond thrilled at my simple little accomplishment!

I mowed the front lawn with ease. It took me less than 30 minutes. As soon as I was done I called Kendra to tell her the good news. Then I decided that I was done at that point. No need to do the back yard. But the more I stood there and pondered on it, the more excited I got to actually finish the job.

I wheeled Alex to the back patio. Katie came along too, playing in the dirt. And I finished up the backyard with minimal interference (I had to refill the gas tank, it restarted and lasted about 2 minutes, got frustrated and had a diet cherry dr. pepper break, refilled the gas tank some more, restarted it and finished the job) around 10:45. So about 1hr for me to do the lawn. I was pretty impressed with myself!

Brian was quite surprised when he came home and has given many thanks! Awesome wife points were definitely earned.

I wonder if it will be another 12 years before I mow again?