May Angel Star

Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong decision.

Why did I want to be a stay at home mom?

I feel like I am trapped in a world where nothing gets done and STAYS done.

Why bother cleaning the kitchen 3 times or more a day.

Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Snacks. Dessert.

Why bother putting toys away when 1.678 seconds later they will be dumped out and strewn about the house AGAIN.

LAUNDRY.

It is all never ending and it never stays complete.

I would love to have a list and be able to check off a task PERMANENTLY.

Happiness. Tears. Joy. Whining. Love. Sadness.

I love my beautiful children.

They are my life.

It’s worth it.

Can I get a maid?

Friday

We hung out with the neighbors.

Great food.

Ladder Golf and Cornhole.

Sparklers, firecrackers, fireworks and a bizarre Chinese lantern.

Beer, alcohol infused sweet tea, pina coladas and a few shots of tequila, okay, a lot of shots of tequila.

The kids had fun playing with their friends.

One by one they went to bed, starting with Alex and ending with Katie.

We moved the party to the Withrow’s backyard

Brian left after 1am as he had to be up early for a meeting.

I stumbled arrived home around 3am.

Saturday

I awoke to my head spinning.

I slept in until I absolutely had to get up from bed.

Ice water became my best friend.

I talked to the neighbors.

I lounged around a lot.

At the last minute I we decided to go to the Dublin Fireworks.

Packed everything up.

Grabbed some Benny’s Cheesesteaks for us and Wendy’s for the kids.

Got a great parking spot.

Got a great area on the grass in the shade in perfect viewing area of the future festivities.

We listened to Kenny Loggins play live.

Kids went on 7 jumpies.

Got tattoos and face painting.

Brian got us funnel cake.

Then the kids ran amok until it was time to watch the show.

The fireworks were absolute amazing!

We got to our van quickly and made our way out pretty fast as well.

We will definitely be getting those spots again!!

Sunday

We slept in until 11am.

Got ourselves together and left for the Hilliard Parade at 1:55.

Parade started at 2:00 and I wasn’t sure exactly where it ended.

We made it to the end of the parade route with plenty of time to spare.

Got some Taco Bell and waited.

Kids got loads of candy.

We went home.

Alex took a nap.

The girls went and played with the neighbor kids.

Brian did work.

I did editing on our cell group video.

We went to Agape Fellowship’s 4th of July Tailgating party.

Got a nice spot in the shade.

Were joined by the Olson’s.

Had free hotdogs, popcorn, popsicles and pop.

Played some cards, sevens.

Kids ran free and had fun with a soccer ball.

Then came the sparklers.

All the kids got excited, including Alex who had done some Friday night with no problems.

Alex did his second sparkler.

He started trying to grip it with both hands and was being erratic.

I got his hands away.

I accidentally grabbed the sparkling end of the sparkler.

My pointer finger and thumb were charred.

I showed Brian and he told me to get it on ice.

I ran to the free drinks and stuck my hand in the ice water.

They gave me a huge chunk of ice and a cup.

I whimpered as we watched the fireworks.

My fingers were on fire if they were not gripping ice or submerged in ice water.

For the second time this weekend ice water had become my best friend.

I had it submerged until 1am.

Then I alternated between a bag of ice as I was trying to sleep to dunking it in the cup of ice water next to my bed.

I woke up to barely any burning.

Swollen fingers.

Three things I learned this weekend:

1. Tequila shots are not a good idea.

2. Skin continues to burn after initial contact.

3. Ice water is an amazing cure for many things!

Above all else, guard your heart,

for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

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People choose to show emotions or hide them.

Regardless of what people do with them, emotions happen.

God has emotions and we were created in His image.

It makes sense that we would have them also.

——————-

“The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth and his heart was filled with pain.”

Genesis 6:6

——————–

“I am a woman who is deeply troubled; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.”

Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:15

——————–

“Be angry and do not sin.”

Paul in Ephesians 4:26

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It’s okay to have emotions.

They are in the Bible and there is no rebuke for them.

Some emotions move us towards God and people.

These are constructive feelings.

Conversely, other emotions isolate us from God and people.

Those are destructive.

There are no right or wrong emotions.

Feelings should be examined and reflected upon to get to the core of what they are and why they are.

What are the motives behind them?

———————

I have this association that heartache of any type is bad.

I steer away from it.

I bend over backwards to eliminate the threat of it.

I hide my emotions more often than not.

Trained myself not to go there.

Not to let the pain in or out.

Though it would burst forth from me anyway.

In the form of anger, bitterness and impatience.

Usually directed towards people who did not deserve it.

My husband.

My children.

——————

I have very few relationships where I fully let my guard down.

One very important relationship, where I did share openly and honestly in all matters of my heart, has abruptly ended.

My heart ached and I wanted to do anything and everything to get the relationship back.

At one point, I stopped and examined my heart and my motives.

I found something I did not like.

Something that I had never noticed previously.

I was depending on the relationship more than I was depending on Jesus.

I prayed for closure and repentance.

I prayed for my broken heart and my former friends heart to be healed.

I believe the Lord listened and answered my prayers.

At least on my end.

I realized that I had choices I needed to make.

———————

I’m going to choose not to isolate and distance myself from God.

I’m going to choose to remain open and honest and lean on friends and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

I’m choosing a soft heart over a bitter heart.

There is no joy in a life that feels like it has no choice.

I choose to feel.

I choose to share those emotions.

I choose to believe that Jesus is my Lord and Savior.

——————

It’s okay to feel pain.

I need to absorb it, reflect on it and grow from it.

Grow closer to Him.

We spent yesterday morning at home.

Homework pages.

Cleaning up the house.

Visiting Kamryn’s (the girl’s friend from down the street) new kitten, Griffen.

Eating lunch.

Then pool time!!

Sam, Alex, Lillian, Katie, Brianna and Isaac humoring me and my wanting to take a picture!

I told him to say “cheese” in the first picture.

Fruit “nacks” and a drink!

Mommy and son with curls!

Break time!

Snacks and some sun.

We spent about 2 hours in the pool!

Alex was jumping (with my help of course) off the side by the end of the afternoon.

We had loads of fun.

Then it was off to visit Jason, Daphne and baby Naomi!

Proud Dad, Jason, holding 3 day old Naomi!

Daphne and me finally getting my hands on the baby!

Loving her dark hair!

Precious Naomi!!

I’m in love, she is so incredibly sweet!!

Looks just like Jason.

I forgot what it felt like to hold a newborn.

So soft, and they just curl up into you.

Amazing blessing!

Heather and Beth playing with the kids.

You’re never to old for cheap entertainment, I mean balloons!

B and Katie’s get their turns holding the baby!

Another fantastic summer day!