May Angel Star

Posts Tagged ‘Bipolar’

*whispers*

I’m kind of scared at all the stuff I’ve been doing and taking on.

Is this normal or will I crash and burn?

Super Mom?

I should have known it wouldn’t last..

My calendar all neat with everyday bursting with activity.. Motivated Mom’s calendar checked off everyday, keeping the house up was a breeze. Laundry done, beds done, dinners planned and made. All cleaning responsibilities done. With as many as 5 kiddos running around my house. Couldn’t get enough sex, begging and instigating and wanting more and more.

And now I feel like doing nothing. Laundry piled up, dishes piled up, chinese ordered, baking done just so I could stuff my face and fulfill my duty to provide snack for small group, movies all day long, internet all day long, snacks and junk all day long, projects started and not finished, no chores done, can’t even imagine fulfilling the many social obligations going on this weekend..

Music washing over me, making me feel, on the verge of tears..

blah

Last night I was up late reading “Sanguis quid Ligurat” by Fiona.. It’s a chlex fanfic.. Anyway.. I got to the point where I was having a lot of trouble reading it. I literally felt as though I was out of my body. Almost like I was sitting here at the computer, but my consciousness was a few inches to the left of my physical body.. It was such a weird feeling and I was having such a hard time focusing because of it. I finally went to bed because I just couldn’t read like that anymore. It was really bizarre.

I have read reports of people on anti-convulsants used for bipolar that have the same symptoms at high dosages though.. It’s only happened once since being on 1200mg a day and it was super late for me, going on midnight…

I hope it doesn’t happen again!

My appt. went well. The psychiatrists agree with my counselor that I have Bipolar II. They put me on a mood stabilizer, Trileptal. I’ve been taking it since last Tuesday night, I got a slight headache after taking it the first couple of times, but other than that no other side effects. It’s pretty much been decided that we won’t TTC until about 18 months from now.. We’ll see how that goes. They would want me to slowly ween off the drugs and have them out of my system for 6 months. I had decided that emotionally as well as financially it wasn’t a good time to go on the TTC route.

Thanksgiving was good. My Aunt Sandy and Uncle Jules were in town. It was nice visiting with them and my Aunt and I had fun shopping on black Friday.

Katie and I took a nap today, snuggled on the couch. Brian did so much for me around the house, a ton of laundry, and he put up most of the Christmas lights outside.

There really is more I have to say, but I just don’t feel like talking right now..

I hope everyone is well..

Oh and I want to do Christmas cards this year, so  you know the drill..

I have most people’s addresses from last year I think, but send it to me anyway.. veronica525@gmail.com

Oh and Nikki, I had never heard of Melissa and Doug toys before, and when I read your post I checked them out. The majority of the girls gifts this year will be the M&D products! Thanks for sharing about them!