May Angel Star » Brian

The Stand

Veronica — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 16:20:37 +0000

Our hands intertwined, my large ivory dress, with scarlet trim barely allowing me in the seat as the band started playing. A crumpled damp tissue clenched in my fist, I dabbed my eyes for the hundredth time as I tried to keep the mascara in place. My heart was swollen, still overwhelmed by Brian’s declaration of love. I had cried in front of all of our family and friends, something I never ever would have voluntarily done. Tears were for the shower, when you were alone and the cascading water could drown out the sobs and wash them away down the drain never to be mentioned again. I had been caught off guard, not by the speech, I knew it was planned, what I did not know was the words that would come from deep within his heart, exposed for all to hear, intimate and crafted with care. Never spoken at our first wedding, generic and thrown together within a couple of weeks, filled with regret and sadness. This time, five years later, meaning so much more than our first vows ever would. Our faith came through with every word. God was the center of our marriage now and forever more, the renewal of our vows a testament to what He had done in our lives. It was important to us, that our girls and our family and friends know our hearts and see the declaration of our souls back to Him, and our love to one another.

You stood before creation

Eternity within Your hand

You spoke the earth into motion

My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure

Carried the Cross for my shame

My sin weighed upon Your shoulders

My soul now to stand

I sang, whisper soft, letting the words wash over me, through me. They penetrated my heart, the events of the day settling in, growing outward in the form of a smile. My hand enclosed in Brian’s, sweaty and familiar.

So what can I say

What can I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation

Your Spirit alive in me

This life to declare Your promise

My soul now to stand

So what can I say

What can I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

So I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

I bolted out of my chair, eyes, scrunched shut, the tears streamed. My voice came out loud and strong from deep inside. Our hands no longer clasped, now outstretched upwards toward the heavens. I swayed, cradled by the music, the love I had for Him. He had given me the great gift of Brian I love this man and our two girls Precious beyond belief. I was absolutely in love, filled to the brim with emotions, they churned inside yet with peace and understanding. Thankfulness.

So I'll stand

My soul Lord to You surrendered

All I am is Yours

Everyone, everything melted completely away.

Just me.

Just Him.

I believe.

Immense joy swelled within my heart.

So what can I say

What can I do

But offer this heart O God

Completely to You

This post was written for the prompt over at The Red Dress Club.

Derailed

Veronica — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 13:57:04 +0000

I had every intention of participating in National Novel Writing Month, NaNoWriMo, this year. Ideas were churning, my imagination flowing and I was hyped to just get started! I signed up, even added Ronnica as my writing buddy. I told Brian about the adventure I wanted to embark on and he was supportive. I believe his exact words were, “Good, you can finish that book now.” I was counting down the days. Thinking about the write-ins I might join in on. Where and when I was going to write. The music I wanted to listen to, as I write better when inspiration is piped directly into my eardrums.

Then it happened.

Saturday Oct. 30th, I told Brian that I wasn’t feeling right and that I thought maybe I just might even throw-up. I went to bed promptly after my declaration.

The prophesy was fulfilled, I spent all night and until almost noon on the 31st doing just that and unfortunately the other end was just as active.

Sunday was for sleeping. Between naps there was some sucking on ice or flavor-ice pops and watching episodes of Weeds on Netflix.

My kids were amazing. Leaving me alone in the morning while Brian was at church, he had to be there super early to do AV. When he came home he brought me the Sprite I requested and then took all the kids to Galaxy Games and Golf to play and Wendy’s to eat some lunch. I received handmade drawings and whispered “I love yous” from just out of reach. Katie even gave me a quarter.

It was absolutely awful and the feelings of being trapped in my room started to rear their ugly head. See the last time I was ill like this I was suffering from excessive morning sickness when I was pregnant with Alex. I had spent a lot of time doing the same thing, except I was backed up in the other end and substitute Reba and CSI-Miami for Weeds. My thoughts switched from Oh, I’m so sick this is awful to Do I really want to have another baby and go through months of hell just like this again?

Around 7pm I actually got my appetite back. I had two scrumptious meals of applesauce and then went to bed for the night.

Brian got sick that night and was in bed for two days.

I was functioning but not fully, not that I had a choice. When you are a mom the show must go on regardless of how you are feeling. Kids still need to have lunches packed, though Brian did get most of that done, and kids still needed to get to the bus stop on time. Having no motivation whatsoever to do much of anything, writing was the last thing on my mind. My laundry is sky high in equal piles of needed folded and needed washed. The fanciest meal prepared for dinner was pigs in a blanket and it went downhill from there to spaghettio’s and meatballs to frozen pancakes.

Brian and I are still not eating a whole ton. Last night I had some yogurt and a couple of chips.

There was a silver lining to surfing the internet in a haze of recovery. I found an awesome pattern, Dragon Fly, for crochet longies by Ladybugz Farm that I purchased the license to make and sell.

So I did a trial run yesterday and they are so cute.

I may hop on the writing train within the next couple of days.

Or I might just crochet some longies.

Either way I’ll be happy doing it.

Let’s Go Flyers! (Wordless Wednesday)

Veronica — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 09:00:31 +0000

We were blessed with free tickets to the Flyers @ Blue Jackets hockey game on Monday.

Six rows from the glass to the left of the net.

Sweet seats!

The Blue Jackets were beating the Flyers, who were not playing well…. at all.

I prayed fervently that they would just score at least one goal.

I didn’t even care if they won.

I just wanted one goal so that the kids could cheer for their team, especially Alex.

My prayer was answered.

And they showed us celebrating…. on TV!

Here is the screen shot:

Here is the YouTube video:

We are shown at 2:39 into the video.

How cool is that?

I just wish Katie had been tall enough and not behind Brianna to be seen too.

And a couple more pictures from the night:

Brian showing Alex the Flyers warming up.

I wish I had a picture of Alex standing at the glass, he was the perfect height to see and he was grinning ear to ear.

Alas, my phone battery was all but dead.

Not really sure what happened to the picture quality or why I’m making that crazy smile face.

The Flyers played the Sabres on Tuesday and won 6-3.

Why couldn’t they have done that Monday?!

For more Wordless Wednesday visit 5 Minutes for Mom!

Hiking in the Woods (Wordless Wednesday)

Veronica — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 09:00:22 +0000

Saturday we took a little trip to a nature preserve in Dublin. The following pictures detail our fun. All of these were taken by my cell phone.

The creek bed is dry this time of year and the kids love walking it.

This is my “Did it capture?” face.

Father and Son. I’m so in love with them!

Brian running down the steep hill, after bringing Alex up there to see the school football field.

His facial expression is hilarious.

“Hole!”

Silly family.

Even sillier.

I love my kids.

Hmmmm?

Found an abundance of shells in the creek bed.

Shells.

Hand in hand.

For more Wordless Wednesday fun visit 5 Minutes for Mom.