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Feeling down..

I feel like a bad friend.. I just have no desire what-so-ever to update LJ or respond to anyone.. I have been reading entries though.. My house has gone to crap.. It’s such a mess and just needs to be scrubbed down and organized.. Things need to be thrown away.. I have all these ideas on how I want it decorated and no money to do it.. I know what I am doing.. I am making a massive list in my head of what I want done and it is just too much so I shut down and don’t do any of it.. Such is my life.. I wish that I could get out of this cycle.. Why can’t I get over it.. I guess because I have been doing it all my life and it is so hard to change.. I really should pray about it more.. heck I should pray about it period.. I don’t think that I ever have.. I just don’t know.. I want to better myself, but I don’t know how.. There are just so many things that I feel I need to work on and I don’t know where to start.. I feel so good when everything is organized and in it’s place and it’s like I forget that and let everything go.. Not just my home, but myself, my relationships with others.. Sigh.. I have my follow up appointment with Amy today about the Zoloft.. I’ll talk to her about everything..

4 thoughts on “Feeling down..”

  1. Im sorry your feeling so down. I go threw stages like that myself. It’s like you want to accomplish so much but there is never enough time, energy and of course the root of all evil, money.

    Keep your head up and take a day to just sit down and hold your babies. That always makes me feel better..

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  2. I can relate on the home and friends side… we have all these ideas about how we want to do things but never the resources (and sometimes the time) to actually make it work… and that is so discouraging when you get yourself all excited.

    But be glad that you are not spending exhorbatant amounts of $$ on things you cannot afford. That would be worse.

    It’s hard to keep up with everyone on lj… and lj, honestly, isn’t your life. Your life is your life… and we’re lucky enough to hear about it once in a while… I’d rather you focus on your life and just write when you get the chance. I know I’m happier when I’m not always thinking about what I’m not doing or what I’m not writing about on lj or who I don’t have time to respond to… I still haven’t figured out this balance thing yet though

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