I try to be so upbeat and positive.. try to always see the bright side of things.. but right now I feel so lost and just blah.. My mind keeps going over all the things that I have to get done around the house, and all the things that I want to get done around the house, all the reading I want to accomplish, all the activities I want the kids to be involved in, all the scrapbooking I want done and completed, all the journaling I want done, all the friendships I want to rekindle and take the time to really get to know people.. the list goes on and on and on..
and all that just imobilizes me.. and nothing at all gets done.. and the things that I have signed up for to do I end up resenting, because it is a mad dash to get there, or I’m always late, or I just plain don’t feel like participating.
I know that I need to remember that “yes, I can say NO” to things.. I know that I should just take one step at a time, baby steps..
but sometimes it is super hard for me to think that way.. ok, not sometimes, most times..
I feel like I need to be perfect, and I know that I am not, no one is perfect. Jesus died on the cross because of it, I am made clean only by the Grace of God! Maybe that is my problem..
I am relying completely on myself, I’m trying to be in control and it’s not working. Of course it isn’t working, I’m not in control, God is.. Why can’t I seem to wrap my head around that one.. If only I gave this all to God, it could release me from feeling all of these anxious thoughts. If only I would lean on God for strength, I could get through the day and get things not only started but done..
Thanks for listening……………………………………………………………………