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ugh.. can I get anymore emotional…

I try to be so upbeat and positive.. try to always see the bright side of things.. but right now I feel so lost and just blah.. My mind keeps going over all the things that I have to get done around the house, and all the things that I want to get done around the house, all the reading I want to accomplish, all the activities I want the kids to be involved in, all the scrapbooking I want done and completed, all the journaling I want done, all the friendships I want to rekindle and take the time to really get to know people.. the list goes on and on and on..

and all that just imobilizes me.. and nothing at all gets done.. and the things that I have signed up for to do I end up resenting, because it is a mad dash to get there, or I’m always late, or I just plain don’t feel like participating.

I know that I need to remember that “yes, I can say NO” to things.. I know that I should just take one step at a time, baby steps..

but sometimes it is super hard for me to think that way.. ok, not sometimes, most times..

I feel like I need to be perfect, and I know that I am not, no one is perfect. Jesus died on the cross because of it, I am made clean only by the Grace of God! Maybe that is my problem..

I am relying completely on myself, I’m trying to be in control and it’s not working. Of course it isn’t working, I’m not in control, God is.. Why can’t I seem to wrap my head around that one.. If only I gave this all to God, it could release me from feeling all of these anxious thoughts. If only I would lean on God for strength, I could get through the day and get things not only started but done..

*sigh*

Thanks for listening……………………………………………………………………

13 thoughts on “ugh.. can I get anymore emotional…”

  1. I’m the same way hun. I get overwhelmed and then I do nothing. God definitely is in control. I’m reading a really good book right now called “All Out”. It’s helping me to learn to give God “everything”, not just the parts I want to give over to him. But, it’s still a day to day struggle.

    ((hugs))

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  2. ((((((hugs)))))) Why don’t you pick like one activity a week for the girls to do (be it playgroup, swimming lessons, etc). Then take a time when Brian is home and set aside like 2 hours JUST for you (to scrapbook, read, etc) NO mommy tasks! (easier said than done lol).
    My mind tends to race 100mph and then it seems like EVERYTHING that ran thru it didn’t get done :-/

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  3. It could be that God is speaking to you and trying to help you through all of this. Just listen to Him calling you and helping you with what is right. Maybe this week it is catching up with some old friends, or perhaps the time is right to start a new book, or finish one.

    Hang in there honey! You are definitely NOT a slacker! ; )

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  4. It’s helping me to learn to give God “everything”, not just the parts I want to give over to him. But, it’s still a day to day struggle.

    What a good observation and definitely what I do… I might have to check out that book, after I’m done with the 2 I’m on of course LOL..

    Thanks, it helps to know that I am not the only one out there that feels that way. I want to change though, one step at a time and only through God πŸ™‚

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  5. Thanks for the ideas Wendy! I was thinking about doing something like that but everyday, with a day or two off.. Brianna does so much better when we have something structured planned. Which is why camp is so awesome for her. When there is down time she tends to go a little beserk and starts breaking all the rules *which is so very frustrating* I actually do read a lot, which is awesome. I think the scrapbooking gets me down because it seems like such a huge task, as I am re-doing Brianna’s book and just starting Katie’s.. *sigh* it will get done, eventually! It is a work in progress right LOL

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  6. First, what name do you like to be called LOL.. I’ve seen people call you Anna???? but then I get confused because your username says Anni..

    Secondly, I totally think you are right about God speaking to me.. I have been trying to listen and carrying out what He wants, but sometimes I’m selfish *sigh* This week I feel as thought I have done a pretty good job following the prompts of the Holy Spirit. I have and do want to follow God, sometimes I’m blinded to what He wants though because of my own selfish desires.. Right now I feel as though I’m being called to work on my friendships.. To be a participant and not just a spectator!

    Thank you for your words of encouragment! I know that I do things, but sometimes I do feel as though I’m a slacker, maybe my expectations are too high for myself.. hm…..

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  7. I totally know where you are. You have so much on your plate, and you can’t possibly eat it all… and the things you DO end up eating, you feel angry because it took away from another thing that could’ve been eaten. and it was a good thing. So many things are good things. You’re right about needing to give this to God. He decides how many hours are in a day and determines how much energy we can have for a 24 hour period. and take things one day at a time. If these things are drastically important to you, then maybe you need to make yourself a schedule. If they’re just things you want to get done sometime, be patient with yourself and remembre that relationships are more important than getting any cute craft put together. Figure out what’s most important to you and start there. It’s okay to let some things go to the side. You can pick them up again when you have extra time or maybe bring them along while you’re on a family vacation or something.

    I hope you’re able to rest some and be satisfied… I totally can relate

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  8. Thanks Andrea.. That analogy was perfect and so very true of me.. I think a schedule would be good for me, it’s keeping to it that would be the problem.. I start things off so well and then I fizzle and tend not to get things completed.. The only thing I do pretty good at is starting and finishing books, at least that’s something LOL! Thank you for your words of encouragement and ideas and for giving me the greatest advice “Give it to God”!

    If only God could do my laundry too πŸ˜‰

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  9. Don’t let what you can’t complete defeat you! What I’m saying is “you’re human” and you will always stumble in one way or another. You can not do things perfectly. If you make a schedule and try to live by it, it’s great that you’ll go strong for the first little bit. But if you get off the schedule, don’t lose hope. Don’t get discouraged. Don’t consider any of it a failure (lies from Satan). Just decide what you want to do with it (ie. make a new schedule, live life without a schedule, whatever you feel God wants you to do) and then do that. We all have different seasons in our lives, and God gives us those for a reason. We can’t be doing the same thing the same way all of the time. We’ve got to be flexible. You’re a wonderful mother, and your kids are great. I just wish I knew you and your family better than I do. Trust that God will give you wisdom to make the decisions for your family and for yourself that need to be made, and then move. If you mess up, get up and keep moving. “Life is but a mist” and it’ll be gone tomorrow.
    I hope you understand what I’m saying. I’m saying it to myself as well. I need to hear those same words…

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  10. Crystal!!!! I miss you so much! I was just moving pictures around on the fridge this morning and I was looking at your girls.. and thought.. I haven’t “talked” to her in ages… What have you been up to???

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  11. I just wish I knew you and your family better than I do. Same here for you and Nate and precious Grace!

    Thank you so much Andrea! Your encouragement has really helped me.. You are so kind and caring! I hope to become better friends πŸ™‚

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  12. LOL you can call me Anna. Anni is one of those Junior High things where everyone, for whatever reason, changed their names to have an i at the end… we had Jenni, Angi, Anni… WE WERE DORKS! HA HA HA! I do that to laugh at myself!!!!!!!! Anna is my given name, it’s my grandmothers! πŸ™‚

    and heaven’s NO you are NOT a slacker!!!!!

    I knew you would listen to the right voice!!!! πŸ™‚ Isn’t it amazing how easy things get when we turn them over to Christ?

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