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ok…

Why is it so difficult for me to write in this thing.. I have been avoiding it like the plague.. content in sinking into fantasy land.. It’s always been one way or the other with me.. I try to excape by watching movies, reading books, people’s journals, my own imagination… Will the endless cycle ever end? What am I hiding from? Do my relationships struggle, because that means I have to be in reality? Why do I find living so scary? Why do I find my value in other people’s opinions of me? What am I afraid of?

Rejection?????????????????

Who knows…

I was never one to dig deep..

I can ask all the questions in the world, finding answers was never my thing..

That would be reality…

and for some reason..

Reality and I don’t get along…

The sadness overwhelms me……………………

16 thoughts on “ok…”

  1. I wish I were closer to you so I could come over in person and talk! E-mail me if you want to talk more off of LJ! Major huge hugs! *Smooch*

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  2. Thanks.. I don’t feel like this all the time.. I do have my moments of sunshine and they for the most part outweigh this type of negativity.. I just needed to vent! 😉

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  3. Boy do I wish we lived closer together… Thanks for being you Crystal! I have missed you so much.. I hope to keep in better touch 🙂 *hugs*

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  4. girl that is SOOOO me! I missed LJ SO much when I was gone for 5 days… and then all I did was bitch…. I’m always afriad if I’m typing something b/c I mean it, or b/c I’m caught in the moment and everything is just pissing me off lol I always feel like EVERYONES life is 10,000 times better/easier than mine. ((hugs)) I do miss reading your entries!

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  5. Read Harry Potter. It makes me happy. There’s nothing wrong with making yourself happy through non-reality.

    I’m so excited for Harry Potter 🙂

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  6. The grass is always greener on the other side, right???? or is it??? Thanks for the *hugs* and your thoughts Wendy! You are so sweet 🙂

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  7. I already took work off the 15th and 16th. Dana and I are getting it at midnight and staying up all night/day to read it 😀

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