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Sad…

I’m writing this here, because I just have to get this off my chest. And this might get long and I don’t feel like doing multiple comments..

This is in regards to the quiz that Sabrina posted.

I’m sorry Sabrina, but you telling me that you “dated a black guy before” doesn’t change my thinking or my views..

I realize that to you and some other mutual friends on our FL it is just a quiz and you can *rolleyes* at me all you want.

The fact that you posted a quiz on your LJ stating this sentence: “your belief is storing the white race as dominant” and think it’s just a silly quiz, with silly results that don’t reflect you as a person, is beyond me.. If they didn’t reflect your true thinking, why would you post such a racially charged quote and not think anyone would be up in arms about it and call you on it. Thinking I should just get a grip because it’s just a quiz is beyond me.

Proceeding to tell everyone on your friends list, that “I don’t want you on my FL if things like that bother you.”

Well I am sorry. They do bother me. I don’t care how many “black” men you dated. I don’t care how many “black” people you have as friends IRL or OL.. Posting something with a quote like that is scary. Saying that you are southern and proud, waving your confederate southern pride flag icon, *rollingeyes* at the black woman up in arms at the racist remark in your post… That is scary to me..

Making sure no one sees who responded to your original post and how you defended your quiz and it’s results is scary to me. What are you trying to hide from you friends.

I realize that it was just an “effing quiz” (IT IS JUST A EFFING QUIZ PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!)” as you so gracefully pointed out to me.

The fact that I responded to that “effing quiz” with this:
“wow………

this is really sad….

especially since my mother and i were just talking today about the fact there was a time in this country that she and my dad, and that brian and i would have been lynched just by having a relationship..

and the fact that you just posted that “your belief is storing the white race as dominant” stated it’s you and are proud, and call me a “friend” hurts me to no end….

there is a reason there are a few states that i would be scared to set foot in with brian and my children and what you posted and the fact that you don’t care that it might offend anyone, that you are proud of it for what it stands for and that you are raising your family that way.. scares me to death……

and i do know the history behind that flag, all of it..

and i was about to say some choice things, but it just isn’t my style, nor do i believe it is what i am called to do.. just know, that i will wait to see if you will respond to this, and then most likely i will be taking you off my “friends” list…

:(”

and you responded to me with this:

“WTF? You don’t know how I’m raising my family so don’t fuckin put words in my mouth. My son has NO CLUE that there is a difference in colors and THAT is how I am raising my son. Even if I had racist tendencies I would NEVER instill them into my child. E-V-E-R.

I’m sorry that you are offended by my post. I didn’t say that I stood by what the QUIZ RESULTS were, but that I stand by keeping it posted b/c I am not going to be “scared” into deleting it. IT IS JUST A EFFING QUIZ PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

If you wish to defriend me..fine. My TRUE friends know how I feel and know not to take such a thing to heart.”

Your true friends know not to take such a thing as posting a quiz with the quote “your belief is storing the white race as dominant” to heart.

I mean lets face it, racism is just so funny, right! I mean it’s a laugh riot. I love the fact that I’ve been in a restaurant with my family and it took them 30 minutes to give us a menu, while they waited on every table around us, until my husband spoke up about it. It’s a thrill to me that there are people in this world that would rather kill me and my children because there is “black” in us.. and then to have someone tell me they aren’t going to be “scared” into deleting a post with a racially charged comment. Something that they are so proud to have in their journal. Too proud to admit that it is wrong. So proud that they have to stick up and defend themselves for putting the “silly, racially charged” quiz in their journal…

And then have this to respond to me when I make a comment to the other people who thought I was crazy for being up in arms:

Veronica: ” I’m some people.. and no i don’t think i’m crazy.. i don’t care if there were racist questions or how sabrina answered them. the fact that she can post it and defend it by saying she stands by the results and doesn’t find this statement racist and offensive “find your belief is storing the white race as dominant” and thinks i’m crazy for getting hot and bothered over it.. is very scary to me :(”

Sabrina:” P.S.

Veronica..FYI..I’ve dated a black guy before. 2 to be exact. One of them is on my MySpace FL actually! So TRUST me when I say that I am NOT racist & didn’t mean to sound racist by the posting the quiz. I don’t think that many ppl on my FL know that I dated black guys, b/c well it never came up, but now you know. I hope that this can change your views on me that you’re probably now thinking…”

This comment is supposed to change my view?????

I seriously just don’t understand this.. Any of it.. I mean this has deeply affected me. I just need serious prayer right now, for those that pray, because I just have no idea how to feel about all of this.. It just disturbs me so very much…

Comments will be screened…………………..

26 thoughts on “Sad…”

  1. *hugs* No need to reply to this since I don’t wanna be in the drama, but I just wanted to say that I agree with you 100%. I have 2 mixed cousins in my family and I love them all the same. I would NEVER post a quiz in my LJ if it said something like that. Sure, I take the quizzes sometimes, but I sure has heck read through the ‘results’ and if I got THAT result, I would have NEVER posted it in my LJ, let alone for my friends to see! I am sorry that she doesn’t understand hun *hugs*

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  2. I am so sorry you are so hurt by the quiz result & you have the freedom of speech to be. To be completely honest, I skipped the quiz result she posted & didn’t know what was going on until I saw 8 comments on that post, I knew drama must arose. 😦 I try to stay far from drama. I didn’t put much thought into the quiz result when I first saw it. :/ I just don’t want you to think I’m racist, far from. I think Biracial kids are the cutest kids ever. I live in a very diverse city & a very open-minded person.

    I just don’t know what to say. You are such a sweet person & I do feel sorry for you. I will say a quick prayer for you for some healing…I know it has to be hard to be discriminated against when you go places. Just terrible. 😦 God Bless You! ♥

    If you want you can e-mail me: Kathy517@gmail.com *Hugs*

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  3. I know peoples journals are for “their thoughts or whatever they feel” but I also believe in thinking that others do read my journal and so therefore should try not to post something that might offend or hurt another on here. Common courtesy, tact, christianity and compassion are reasons not to post some things. I hope I havent hurt anyone with anything I have ever posted and if I have I apologize. I know with me being so prolife Ive felt I really need to think about what I write. It may be MY opinion but I dont want to hurt others who have had experiences that are opposite of what I might have chose..kwim? *Hugs*

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  4. I can’t imagine how that would make you feel.
    As a southern white girl with tons of racist family members- it only sickens me with some of the things that I have heard.
    I do not want Adeline to be around people who are closed minded and abrasive. God loves all people, and for someone to think differently is absurd.

    People are ignorant, unfortunately, I’m sure you learned that a while ago.

    I’ve already had a racist comment about my daughter. Coming from James’s granny when we told her what we were going to name her. “Adeline is a black name.” Though she didn’t say it as eloquently as that.

    How can anyone think they are better because of the pigment of thier skin? I’ve never understood that.

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  5. Wow. I don’t have her on my FL and never have (and now I never will!). Keven and I were talking one day about how I am still pretty naive about the fact that so much racism is still around. I guess I just live in my happy little bubble and figure that it’s barely there. I mean, I KNOW it is there….but sometimes I don’t realize how strong some jackasses still feel about it. And it pisses me off when I come across it.

    Keven was raised in the Air Force. Diversity was an everyday kind of thing…..there were many times where he was the only white kid on the block and he didn’t give a shit.

    My Mother had a very racist father but hated it. It was absolutely not passed down to my sister and I. And thinking back I don’t remember ever evening having a discussion about race with either of my parents. That may sound bad, but to me it means that there was no issue. I had friends growing up that were over at the house all the time that were a different race.

    I am sorry you have to deal with this. I don’t know how she could claim to be your “friend”. If she didn’t believe the things that the quiz said (as she claims) she wouldn’t POST IT and she wouldn’t have been so damn rude in her replies……that is not how you treat a friend. And your relationship with her is over the INTERNET (not dogging that at all!) but that means that you cannot tell what her true beliefs are even if you are her true friend. It’s the damn internet….you can make your life to be whatever the hell you want it to be and no one will ever know. Heck, I could be a total schmuck and you wouldn’t know it! But I’m not, promise!

    Many hugs to you babe!

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  6. I’m sorry Veronica 😦 I don’t think you are over reacting at all. I would have probably said something too if I saw a “friend” write something like that. The people I know IRL don’t even talk that way. I find it highly offensive when someone makes any kind of remark about another race in a negative way wether it is supposed to be a joke or not. Some people I have come across think I am “uptight” because I will say something if they try to pull a joke or something that degrades any kind of people. It’s just not cool at all. We have come to far (obviously not far enough tho..) to go back.. Hopefully we will one day be free of people who make other’s feel badly because of who they are- wether it be race, or gender, or disablities or any other.. ((HUGS))

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  7. *sigh* Veronica, I am sobbing. This is exactly why I was hoping I would get through to her and she would delete that post….BEFORE anyone got hurt. (BTW, I wasn’t trying to *scare* her into deleting it…….I simply tried to make her think of others.) Unfortunately I have learned that racism = ignorance and very rarely can you get someone with racism in their hearts to see the light. I have seen racism first hand, I have been shunned because of who my friends were or because of who my date to the junior prom was…….but it never, ever made me want to run from my *non-white* friends. Infact, it did just the opposite and made me ashamed to be *white*. It ripped my heart out when I witnessed instances of racism, but it also made me angry….beyond angry.
    My heart hurts for you Veronica. Race, in 2006, should not be an issue. You and your family should not have to deal with bigots, period. If I could have deleted that post myself I would have.
    You have every right to feel the way you do. It wasn’t “Just some dumb quiz”. It was mean and hurtful and thoughtless, and it made me sick. And every word of her responses reminded me of those sicko’s who hide behind the masks and robe’s of the KKK, all the while denying any involvement when they are in public, claiming “I’m not racist, I’m nice to the black-folk!” *ROLLEYES*
    I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better Hon, to take away your pain. Just know that I am proud to call you my friend Veronica, and that I think you and your family are beautiful! {{{HUGS}}}

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  8. I live in the South, always have & i KNOW (& am related to) real southern people with that “good ole boy” mentiality

    Ive never met a confederate flag waving redneck who wasent a racist..

    oh sure.. they will say they arent racist because they work with black people they like, or are friends with so & so.. & on & on

    but when no black people are in earsight they have plenty to say about those “n******s”

    I think the responce you got speaks volumns

    Im really sorry you were hurt Veronica .

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  9. Veronica…You have every right to be offended…as I said in my reply to her post that I am white and I was offended. It is very sad that in this day and age people are still like that. She also told me to get “history” on the flag…I know the history and sadly its not seen as what it is supposed to represent…you ask most people what they think of when they see the rebel flag…
    I am SO sorry….circumstances like this make me feel ashamed to be white. I may be white, but I can’t feel the pain you feel…I have friends of MANY different races, cultures and embrace the differences…they have enriched my life and made me a better person for knowing them.
    I am writing this to you…you may post it if you wish, but you don’t have to either. I am disappointed as well…I don’t see how being racist its justified at all.
    I just wanted you to know I stand with you…

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  10. I haven’t been reading my fl today cause of my mood…then when I decided to the first post I read was yours….so I went and read sabrina’s entries….everything you said was very understandable….On Sabrina’s side I do know you don’t choose your end result…but I do believe it was in bad taste of her to post the quiz once she got the results…cause I know I wouldn’t have….I think overall sabrina is a sweet girl…I think though that she is ignorant in a way…I think a lot of people are…I think that if you are white and your family is white and you’ve never had to deal with people’s racial ignorance and racism against you or your family cause of your skin color then you don’t fully understand how serious things like this are….it may seem like just a quiz and joke to her cause she has never had to deal with it….but believe me I completely understand your feelings and think it was wrong how they all jumped down your throat and said you were crazy for voicing your opinion and concerns over the situation…..on thier part I think it could have been handled way better with a lot more understanding….(((HUGS)))

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  11. I do not think you are over reacting! That is a very strong comment to be posting in your journal (whether it is from a quiz or not) and not something that one would usually post unless they didn’t see anything wrong with it.

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  12. Wow. Just wow.
    I don’t stand for racism, not for a second. I believe that everyone, regardless of color, sex, orientation, beliefs, etc… are equal. I raise my children that way, I run my house and my life that way.
    I do not blame you one bit for being offended, I would have been offended, in fact I am offended by it and I’m about as white as they come. Racism hurts everyone. It’s not funny. It’s not insignificant. It’s not entertaining. It’s hurtfull and it’s real. I don’t understand why someone would post something like that in their journal, if they didn’t mean it.
    I think it’s sad that our society is still so backwards. I’m so so sorry that you’ve had to deal with it Veronica, and that you have to continue to deal with it. Esspecially from so-called friends.

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  13. Not gonna say too much since I have mixed half siblings ( 2 little boys 7 & 9) who I’ve personally had stick up for at ages 7 and 9!! because of the racism crap. Like I said that’s all I gonna get into but I wanted to comment to say….

    I love ya hun and I’m sorry your upset and have a right to be. Your beautiful and your girls are too beautiful for words!! Hold your head up. (((hugs)))

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  14. Veronica, I’m praying for you. I can totally understand why this has bothered you. I wish I had some magic thing so say to make it all better but I don’t. Some people are just so ignorant it’s unbelievable. You are such an amazing women and I am so proud to call you my friend, actually if I have any other feelings then goodness about you it’s regret that I haven’t been a better friend and kept in touch more.
    Many prayers and hugs!!

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  15. wow…… that’s all I can say. I’m SO sorry V 😦 I’m sorry that you are hurt. That hurs me…. what she did/posted was VERY uncalled for! ((hugs))

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  16. (((((Veronica)))))
    I can relate to EVERYTHING you have said. I am not friends with Sabrina so I really don’t know her but I can honestly say that I would have reacted the same way.
    Having a bi-racial family is a beautiful thing that unfortunately comes with many trials just based off of skin color. People who have never experienced this themselves truly have no idea how a comment like that can hurt you to the core.

    Her response shows that she obviously does not care that it hurt you and that is grounds enough to remove her from your list, on top of the whole I dated 2 black guys (give me a friggin break)!! just confirms the insensitivity on her part.

    You are a beautiful person Veronica, I relate to you so much and wish we lived by one another because I just know our families would get along so well.

    I will say many prayers for you but IMO you made a very articulate statement about your feelings regarding the “little quiz” and spoke up for yourself, that is the most important thing.

    Email me if you feel like talking, ok! cevelctw@yahoo.com
    I will probably be scarce this weekend but I will respond as soon as I can! One of these days we need to exchange numbers and chat for real!! 🙂

    Love you girlie and try not to let this bring you down too much, racism is still in full effect even in this day and age which totally blows me away but we can’t let it get the best of us, KWIM?

    Take care sweets!

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  17. Well, I’m not surprised sweety… Sabrina reminds me ALOT of my sisters side of the family, they are niave and simply uneducated… I was talking to a girl yesterday while getting my nails done that is Asian, I was telling her I lived in Seattle and she said “OH I MISS IT SO MUCH THERE!” and I said “Why don’t you like it here” and she went on to tell me how when she got here people would look at her funny all the time, they would be “shocked” that she spoke english so well.. they would ask her “is your dad white?”
    She is so right, alot of the deep southerners… no offense to anyone from the south, I was born and raised in Nashville… but they just don’t know any better.. and its really unfortunate.. I love Seattle for the diversity, its AMAZING, such a blessing for me being that my mom and her family were all well educated and understanding, they didn’t care if you were red, yellow, green, or black… you were just like them in every way… THank you God for giving me such a family. Ignorance is an illness that alot of people here in the South are infested with… its sad.. really it is…

    I’m sorry that you had to go through that with Sabrina, maybe one day she will understand and see the errors in her way of thinking… maybe not, but I will pray with you in that her eyes will be opened up to the painful things she posted. ((HUGS))

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  18. Wow! I do not have Sabrina on my friend’s list and she does not have me on hers, and I have not seen this quiz, but from what I read just now has me disturbed and I do not blame you one bit for being offended by it. A quiz about race dominant beliefs is in bad taste as it is, but to post your results???? I understand why you would be upset, my mom is white and my dad is mexican and people have asked them how my mom’s parents feel about her being in a “mixed marriage”. I grew up on a street where one family was very prejudiced and the son would chase me down the street and call me “halfbreed”. They would vandalize our house and the son who was in my class actually wrote a story one year about how he and his friends would go and spy on the neighbors, guess who the neighbors were? I do not look very mexican and most people assume I am caucasian. When a woman that I worked with about 5 years ago found out that I am indeed mexican she actually said “Oh you’re a spic”. WTF!! She got an earful from me! I’m sorry I did not mean to turn this around to me, but I know at least to a small inkling how this feels. It disgusts me to no end that there are still people in this world who feel this way. I could go on and on and on, but I won’t bore you with my rantings. Just know that from what I have read I do not think you overreacted and what she posted was wrong. Do not feel bad that she defriended you, she is not the type of person I would want on my friend’s list. Your family is beautiful and we should all be so lucky to be so successful and happy. Don’t let this get you down!

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  19. Thanks hun.. I just don’t even know why she had me on her FL to begin with? I guess to keep up appearances so she could say, I’m not racist, I even have a black girl on my FL, LOL.. Anyway.. I just hope one day she realizes that kind of backward thinking is wrong… I can’t imagine where my family would be if she got her wish, it would be a dark sad world 😦

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  20. I love you Ella!! I seriously have so much love and respect for you.. That’s exactly what I need to hear/read! I wish we lived closer as well, because I just know we would hit it off! We have to keep in touch more than we do, because I would love to get to know you better!!!

    *hugs*

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