It’s amazing how depressing my life can be when I disappear within myself.

Yesterday was all in all a great day. I had playgroup. Friends came over, the house was somewhat put together. I talked to Kelly for over an hour on the phone. Then to my Mom. Brian and I had great conversation, dinner was nice, we went to the library as a family, then to the pet store to snuggle with some puppies, then to wendy’s for some frosty’s.. Brianna fell asleep in the car so there was no prolonged bedtime routine, I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, while Katie watched Elmo’s World. Then we snuggled until I was falling asleep. Tucked her in for the night and then went to bed myself (at 9:30!!!!), while Brian made up our budget for July. He even went out around 11pm to get cash out for the groceries and gas and pick up a couple of birthday cards.

Today, I have no motivation to get anything done. I just want to crawl in a hole and not come out. Just read and sleep.

I wonder why, was I socially overloaded yesterday??????

No clue…. I figure I really need to write in this thing. I get mad when I have a lot going on in my mind and throughout the day and I don’t write anything down, because those are the times when I want to look back on and I have no record of them 😦

Oh and a side note, Brian didn’t get an interview that he had been hoping for, and I didn’t do a great job in “being there for him” and I feel guilty about that. I just don’t react well in situations such as these. Sometimes I just wish I knew when to keep my mouth shut.

And there are some other things that bother me, like people I thought were “friends” boldly stating they didn’t trust me. I have feelings, and I know something as “silly” as internet land shouldn’t bother me, but sometimes it doesn, especially when you have “known” people for almost 5 years now..


I wish I could “buck up like a good little buckaroo”


I’m glad I can still amuse myself πŸ˜‰

15 thoughts on “hm..”

  1. That sounds like exactly what I do. It sounds to me like yesterday was so eventful that today you are making up for it.


  2. witht the disappearing within myself.I do that well. The need to journal more just so I know I have good days and not all bad…and Im hurt to with people not trusting me…why I should care I dont know ..I guess its just I know myself that Im a good person and dont involve myself in that shit so it is upsetting…as you are a good person. *Hugs*…we are alot alike..I wish I could buck up too..lol
    I am going to get there one of these days….


  3. I luv ya hun, I hope you are able to get over this hump I know how hard it is.. I’ve been there! Maybe you should force yourself to get out and get some excersize, that helps raise the endorphines! ((HUGS))


  4. I was wondering where you’ve been πŸ˜‰ Love you V!! I am off to email you, so check in a few! Tomorrow will be better!


  5. I know what you mean about journaling the good and the bad. Sometimes I get wrapped up in journaling the bad and look back and think, I never change! *hugs*


  6. I really should, I have slacked off majorly in that department.

    How are you doing?? You look fab in the last pics you posted!!!


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