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hm..

It’s amazing how depressing my life can be when I disappear within myself.

Yesterday was all in all a great day. I had playgroup. Friends came over, the house was somewhat put together. I talked to Kelly for over an hour on the phone. Then to my Mom. Brian and I had great conversation, dinner was nice, we went to the library as a family, then to the pet store to snuggle with some puppies, then to wendy’s for some frosty’s.. Brianna fell asleep in the car so there was no prolonged bedtime routine, I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, while Katie watched Elmo’s World. Then we snuggled until I was falling asleep. Tucked her in for the night and then went to bed myself (at 9:30!!!!), while Brian made up our budget for July. He even went out around 11pm to get cash out for the groceries and gas and pick up a couple of birthday cards.

Today, I have no motivation to get anything done. I just want to crawl in a hole and not come out. Just read and sleep.

I wonder why, was I socially overloaded yesterday??????

No clue…. I figure I really need to write in this thing. I get mad when I have a lot going on in my mind and throughout the day and I don’t write anything down, because those are the times when I want to look back on and I have no record of them 😦

Oh and a side note, Brian didn’t get an interview that he had been hoping for, and I didn’t do a great job in “being there for him” and I feel guilty about that. I just don’t react well in situations such as these. Sometimes I just wish I knew when to keep my mouth shut.

And there are some other things that bother me, like people I thought were “friends” boldly stating they didn’t trust me. I have feelings, and I know something as “silly” as internet land shouldn’t bother me, but sometimes it doesn, especially when you have “known” people for almost 5 years now..

blah..

I wish I could “buck up like a good little buckaroo”

LOL..

I’m glad I can still amuse myself πŸ˜‰

15 thoughts on “hm..”

  1. That sounds like exactly what I do. It sounds to me like yesterday was so eventful that today you are making up for it.

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  2. witht the disappearing within myself.I do that well. The need to journal more just so I know I have good days and not all bad…and Im hurt to with people not trusting me…why I should care I dont know ..I guess its just I know myself that Im a good person and dont involve myself in that shit so it is upsetting…as you are a good person. *Hugs*…we are alot alike..I wish I could buck up too..lol
    I am going to get there one of these days….

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  3. I luv ya hun, I hope you are able to get over this hump I know how hard it is.. I’ve been there! Maybe you should force yourself to get out and get some excersize, that helps raise the endorphines! ((HUGS))

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  4. I was wondering where you’ve been πŸ˜‰ Love you V!! I am off to email you, so check in a few! Tomorrow will be better!

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  5. I know what you mean about journaling the good and the bad. Sometimes I get wrapped up in journaling the bad and look back and think, I never change! *hugs*

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  6. I really should, I have slacked off majorly in that department.

    How are you doing?? You look fab in the last pics you posted!!!

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