She’s gone…

My Mother-in-law, Debbie, and Brianna should be landing as we speak in Philly. I can’t believe it. I had to close Brianna’s door, it just feels so weird and so very quiet. I know she is going to have so much fun, but I just miss her. This is the first time she will be away from us for so long! They coming back this coming Thursday and I know it will be over and she will be back before I know it, but I’m still sad.. I miss her so very much. I can’t wait until she comes home!!!!!

And in my anxious state, I have been consuming food like there is no tomorrow. I seriously have eaten so much tonight and I know it’s because of the anxiety.. I really need to do something about that.. I’m starting to gain back all the weight I lost and I’m in no mood nor do I have any motivation to get started on the healthy path that I should embark on.. I feel disgusted with myself…

Oh and while I’m complaining… I have these two bug bites on my back that are driving me insane, but I haven’t really been itching in the spot they are, more so my side, which makes no sense. I feel like my stretch marks are what is itchy, but I don’t know why.. It isn’t making any sense and I only know that it is driving me crazy. Benydryl, cortizone cream, aveeno anti-itch.. None of it is working…

Oh and on the hand situation. My blood work all came back normal, and they had to send it all to me in the mail. They tried to call but were unable to reach me. I forgot to update my phone number in their system, as we don’t have the home phone anymore and just the cell phones. I have to call and fix that and also get my referral to the hand specialist. My hands have been really weird this week and I know it’s because I haven’t really been using my braces during the day. The other night they still went numb even with the braces on! I’m sure that isn’t a good sign.. Hm.. I guess time will tell..

I’m waiting for them Paul and Debbie to call so I can say good night to Brianna. Then I’m going to bed.. Hopefully nice dreams await, I had a really crazy one last night, where I abandoned kids I was supposed to be babysitting to go on a starwars ride at a carnival. I ran all the way back to the house and all these parents were outside angry and I was trying to figure out a way to get in the house and pretend like I was there the whole time.. It was a really weird dream and the anxiety I had in it was ridiculous, I was glad when my alarm went off this morning. I would have much rather been dreaming of something else!!!!

I think I have rambled enough..

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