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And the drama starts again…

With my MIL that is…

We have been preparing for our renewal of vows and the family reunion, I don’t know how much I’ve posted about it all. Our renewal is June 29th, then we are going to have a reception. On June 30th there will be a BBQ at my parents house, and on the 31st anyone who wants to can go up to Cedar Point!

Anyway, invitations to the reunion went out last week.

Brian’s Mom emailed him today and said, sorry she couldn’t make it and could he please pass it on to my Mom!

Brian is quite upset and he sent her an email back saying you do realize this is the same weekend as the renewal.

It’s very strange, the relationship. She likes to be in control and in charge and when she isn’t then forget it..

This summer she refused to see Brianna even though she was 10 minutes away, because it wasn’t on her terms :/

This sucks…

20 thoughts on “And the drama starts again…”

  1. That really sucks, and I’m sorry she is acting that way. BUT, look on the brighter side… one less party-pooper at the event! šŸ˜‰ You all will have a fun time, so let her be the one that misses out on it.

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  2. You know what Kate, part of me is secretly glad if she doesn’t come. I don’t want the drama, there was enough on our wedding day. When we were first thinking of renewing our vows and then making it into a huge family weekend, my mind went immediately to his Mom and how she would act or react. I feel like if she “couldn’t make it” then it would be a huge stress reliever to me. But I feel so bad because it is Brian’s Mom. No matter, what he loves her (though he has gotten pretty angry at her past actions) and I feel bad that his own Mom doesn’t want to be apart of something so important to him..

    But like I said, secretly I hope she doesn’t come. Does that make me a bad person???

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  3. If you’re a bad person, then I’m a bad person. We can be bad people together. :p I really DO NOT like hanging around my inlaws and loathe the times that we have to be together.

    It is really sad that she doesn’t want to be there for special times. It wouldn’t hurt her to be a better person and put aside whatever issues she has to be there for her son. But, it is her problem that she chooses to act this way. All you can hope is that she realizes her ways before it’s too late to make a change.

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  4. Ok, good, I’m not the only one LOL! I love my FIL and stepMIL, but his Mom is a force to be reckoned with.. I seriously don’t know how to handle it all while being sensitive to Brian.

    Above all I just think it’s sad that she behaves that way, but what can you do. I agree, I really pray she sees what she is doing and changes before it’s too late!

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  5. Thanks Maria!

    Yeah, it would be nice not to deal with pettiness LOL, but what can you do.. I just hope everything will be sorted out and nothing catastrophic happens during the actual event!

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  6. Wow. Really weird. I’d expect that from dh’s stepmom, but not his real mom. But if dh’s mom doesn’t want to do something, she cancels at the last minute b/c a) she’s “sick”, b) her “back is out”. LOL Atleast you know upfront that she won’t be there. ;-p

    I feel for Brian. That’s really odd. I hope he isn’t too upset about it. It’s hard when it’s *your* parent. Even if you really don’t care that they’re not there, it hurts just b/c it’s your parent.
    -jo

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  7. OOOOOHHH HECK NO! *me getting on my soap box* *rofl*

    Yeah we we had this problem with my MIL up until auout 2 years ago and we no longer have it, because I REFUSE to change my schedule on a consistant basis because she over books herself ( thats what my MIL does, itis maddening!!) ESEPCIALLY since I am the one with little kids.

    My opinion is, ALWAYS stick your ground, and do not compromise even if it means they choose to miss out on some really great things. Sad for them…and to me that show how important it REALLY is for them, kwim?

    I could give numerous EX if this, but rest assured I will LJ about it in the near future *ROFL*

    YEAH for your renewal !! šŸ˜‰ I can’t wait to hear details, see dress pics and all that! yeah!

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  8. You know what, I think it would actually be better if she was overbooked, but I really think she is just making and excuse so she doesn’t have to go! She didn’t like that she couldn’t have her way with seeing Brianna and so she decided that she wouldn’t see her at all. It’s absolutely ridiculous. She can’t come visit us unless she has a boyfriend. Even when we went to the zoo, she went her own seperate way and didn’t even spend time with the kids!!!! It’s so very sad and it makes me so angry that she can be this way toward her own son and her grandchilren!!!

    Anyway, off that and into this.. Here is the link of my dress!

    http://veronica525.livejournal.com/223182.html

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  9. The words MIL and drama seem to go hand in hand unfortunately. I hope it all gets worked out one way or another and that you can be at peace with it.

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  10. You’re definitely not a bad person for that.You have to remember what is important here you guys are having your vows renewed in the presence of your loved ones and if she wants to miss out on that it’s on her.It does suck,but you guys will have a great time regardless of if she’s there or not.

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  11. What/?!!??!! She would miss something THAT important? I’m sorry but she MUST have about 20 screws loose, that is horrible šŸ˜¦ I hope she comes around and realizes that she is missing a HUGE event in your lives. I’m so sorry Veronica šŸ˜¦

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  12. I am SO sorry Veronica. I have a MIL that is EXACTLY the same way, and it sucks. I know it will be hard, but try not to let her ruin your special weekend, that just puts the power right back in her hands,which is what she is trying to accomplish. MIL’s like that are so manipulative, it makes it so hard for our DH’s.

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  13. We talked about this but I am still so very sad for Brian. I wish that his Mom would not treat him or you the way she does. It just seems like she is selfish and only wants to be in Brian’s life when it is convenient for her or when she is on a high point (i.e. re-doing some part of her house or having a boyfriend).

    Just know that there are so many that love you guys, who wouldn’t want to be included in your life, children, and renewal!

    I don’t know if you got a chance to talk to Brian yet with all that happened today, but did he ever hear back from her? She just has to realize that it is the weekend of your renewal.

    I really hope she changes her mind and realizes how important this is to her son and that no matter what the issue she should make the sacrifice.

    Love you

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  14. Oh that is awful – and so familar. Only Robert’s mom will choose not to attend & then play the pity card like she was never invited. She whined nonstop that I never included her in our wedding plans. Then, every time I invited her she had other plans & the time wouldn’t work. The things needed done & appointments were kept. I was not out to please her or anyone else for that matter.

    I feel awful for Brian. That has got to sting. Robert usually pushes on – but every once in a while he lets out that his family’s actions annoy/hurt him.

    I agree with the above comment though. Don’t beg, don’t change plans, don’t even let on that it bothers you – I’d say something along the line “Oh, well I’m sorry you won’t be able to attend” and leave it at that. It sounds like she is extremely needy & demanding. If you give in to what she wants the ball in just back in her court & she’ll never “grow up” and change.

    I’m sorry you’re even dealing with this *hugs*

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