It’s been while since I have really wanted to LJ. I’ve mostly been reading my FL but not replying much. I feel kind of lost right now. I love my LJ, looking back through the years I’ve had it, but I’m not exactly sure what my purpose or motivation is anymore. I think it would be different if I was using it purely for my eyes only, or just having a select few friends reading it, those I have relationships outside of LJ or feel really connected to. At the same time I’m not really sure that would prompt me to write more either. I’ve been feeling the need to close this chapter of my life, but at the same time wonder if I would regret it a week from now.
Brian has an interview today for a Proposal Analyst job within Ashland. He directly report to my old boss and above her is his old boss. It is a great opportunity to branch out from customer service, get a lot of contacts and have a lot of doors opened up to him as well as it is higher paying. We are really praying that he gets this position. His interview is at 1:30, if you think about it and want to pray specifically for him 🙂 He has felt burnt out a bit as a CS Lead and Global 1 power user. He is bombarded with questions all day long and it is hard for him to get his work done because of it. I think he is really hoping that he gets this new job because it’s a complete change of pace, still fast and customer focused but he would be able to get it done, because he wouldn’t have all of the questions! I can tell that he has been stressed about it all. I hope things level out soon.
I’ve been dealing with some big changes of my own as well. I started weaning off my Trileptal. Side effects, the cost of meds, as well as our wanting to TTC in the near future all lead to Brian and I’s decision to stop the meds. I spoke with my psychiatrist, Dr. Abrams and we came to a plan of taking 3 weeks to wean off. I’m on week 2 right now. I will continue to see her once a month to be monitored as well as signed a release so that she could converse with my counselor, Amanda. I also upped my counseling sessions to a double session once a week. We feel that we have all our bases covered. I’ve had two moments where I started to freak out a bit and thought we had made the wrong decision and I wanted the meds back. Thankfully the moments passed within a couple of hours. I’ve been charting for 10 cycles and have been pretty good at the preventing thing, knock on wood LOL. Our goal is to prevent until July, which is when we go to Kaui 🙂 But if it happened before that we wouldn’t be upset about it. I’ve been trying to refocus and deepen relationships in my life and have been doing pretty well with it. I have a pretty amazing support network and I’m really thankful for it. If it seemed as though I was pursuing you and kind of stopped abruptly or tapered off it is probably because my depression started to kick in a bit this week. I’m trying to work through it.
Brianna has been doing alright. She has had some major listening/attitude issues lately, but we are trying to work through them. It’s been kind of rough and draining. We have all of her paperwork for Cypress Christrian School sitting on our counter and I have to look at it and fill it out. We’ve 80% come to the decision to send her there. It’s going to be very expensive, my parents have offered to pay the tuition, but it’s more a matter of if we want them to do that. I think besides being in a Christian environment and having Jesus’ love and principles being reinforced, my biggest desire for her to go there is that she wouldn’t have to change schools if we moved within Central Ohio, like we will eventually do. That and even if we did still live here during her middle school years, we would not be sending her to the public middle or high school. I moved around so much and while I enjoyed it at times, I also hated it at times. I would really like to be more stable and stay in one place. I never had that and I really want that for my children. Brianna is really excited about going into kindergarten regardless, though she would love to go to Cypress becaus Conner goes there and Taylor will be going there, maybe will get to be in class together for the 3 year in a row!
Katie is relearning the whole potty thing. She had been so traumatized by her constipation and incredibly hard poop that she refused to sit on the potty. So she pretty much retrained herself to do diapers. She is pretty good at going on the potty for pee, she’s had a few accidents, but mostly from realizing hey, I don’t have a diaper anymore, I can’t just pee anywhere like I was doing. She has not pooped on the potty and has had quite a few poop accidents. I think she is still very fearful that it will hurt if she does go. Praying she gets past this soon. She is continueing to blow us away with what she says. She has some trouble with some sounds. Says pip instead of chip. bop instead of stop. One of the funniest things she said to me was, “I need my “pie-see” in regards to wanting her “privacy” while going potty LOL. And if you ask her what my name is, she says Mommy. Ask her what my other name is, Bronica. Too cute!
So that is some of what is going on in a nutshell. So much more of course, but hopefully I’ll come on more and keep updated so I can look back years from now and see what we were doing and where we were at!