I know I have written about the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggriches (sp) before, but I need to write more..
Brian and I reading this book has been such an incredibly powerful experience. I neve really imagined that the feelings of disconnect here and there, sometimes for short periods of time and sometimes much longer periods of time were from him not “loving” me and me not showing him “respect”. I put those in quotes because even though deep down in our cores, he loves me and I respect him, but it’s amazing how we interpret each of those things differently.
We have had amazing conversations, been spending time together, having fun together (not that we had too much of a problem with that LOL), just being on the same page now.
Just the other night we were able to have a conversation about finances (which for the years we have been married tend not to go well), neither of us left the conversation seething, we ended it on a positive note, though we didn’t come up with any solution to our problem, we prayed together and then had some of the best sex we’ve ever had! Our night would not have gone that way a month ago. We would have ended up yelling and screaming at each other and going to bed really pissed off and would give each other the silent treatment for awhile…
I cannot speak highly enough of the tools the book gives you. I seriously think that it should be recquired reading before marriage and there is testimony after testimony about these principles saving peoples marriages from the brink of divorce and making good marriages 10 times better.
I truly believe that my biggest problem as far as depressions go are from when I have felt “unloved” and part of the reason for that feeling is because I have had a lack of respect for Brian (though not intentually) and he has lashed out by being unloving (though not intentually)..
Anyway, I’m sure some of this makes no sense at all, but if you want to check it out I’m sure you can pick up a copy at the library if you don’t want to buy it..