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To circ or not to circ, that is the question..

I’m so glad that we are having a boy… I am so not glad that both Brian and I have very differing opinions on circ’ing our son. I told him to do some research and his first idea was to call his step-mom who is a school nurse. She said it has to be done and gave her reasons. This is the same woman who told me I’m not allowed to take a bath at all while pregnant So I told him that he better do actual research and not just taking his step-mom’s opinion based on the old ways.. Last night all I could think is if you want to circ our son I will throttle you!

If you have any thoughts, personal experience, or links to research or books to share with me that would be great!

23 thoughts on “To circ or not to circ, that is the question..”

  1. http://www.circumcision.org/

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t101500.asp

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp

    http://home.comcast.net/~iloveme/WEBPAGES/CAST/ANTICIRC/ANTICIRC.htm

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6584757516627632617

    As you can tell we did not circ. Levi would have, but I was very strong in my opposition and eventually he decided to be okay with it. Then when Vance was in NICU it really wasn’t an option, he was put through way too much by that point so it was a mute point and he knew that I would have lost it if he had to go through any more pain.

    JMO! GOOD LUCK!
    Just make sure you both make an educated decision!

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  2. First let me hurry and say that I have not forgotten you or anything I’ve just been crazy busy trying to get the new house ready and you are still my #1 when things are settled!

    We had Kyler circ’ed and I admit at the time I was young and didn’t think too much about it but I don’t regret that decision. DH is circ’ed and I didn’t want Kyler ever feeling weird. Most males are circed now days so really it’s the norm and I know it’s not a great reason but for me it was just about not wanting him to feel self consious or different. I hope that makes a teeny bit of sense.

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  3. Evan’s not circ’d… never, ever had a problem with him being that way. Easy peasy to take care of!

    Ang gave some great links, too!

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  4. Cam is circ’d, and so far he has not come to me and said “I totally hate you for doing that to me” lol.

    I have heard quite a few stories (real stories, not random internet stories lol) of boys having to have it done later in life due to infections, and as they are older it is super traumatic. My husband wanted it done, because he is and felt Cam should be too, and was a little weirded out by the idea of not having it done. He was worried he would be made fun of by other boys in the locker room, etc. I do not regret the decision in the slightest. I vote for do it!

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  5. Links can help your part in proving why it’s wrong, but I’m sure the same amount can be found on why to do it, kwim? I don’t have a boy. And thankfully so, because this would have been a big arguement, I do believe lol Basically, it’s kinda like our parents saying ‘we didn’t ride in carseats/seat belts, ate baby cereal at 2 weeks old and played outside 24 hours a day unsupervised’. It’s just a personal issue. Honestly, I don’t think more or less one way or another. I’ve dealt with uncircumsized males and they are almost always ashamed :-/ I don’t get why though. And the whole ‘penis matching daddy’ thing kinda creeps me out lol I mean, I hope my girls don’t want my boobs, because I have DD’s LoL ((hugs)) Hopefully it’ll all work out, and no matter what you guys decide, no matter how his little weiner looks, he’ll have lots and lots of love!!! ❤

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  6. I had all my boys done. My sister is a nurse on peds and saw alot of kids with problems that had to have it done later which was quite traumatic. My nephew got done at age 7 and a cousin at age 12 and my brother had to when he was 6-7 months old. I also have worked in nursing homes and now being in the group home for the mentally challenged it is very hard to clean some of their foreskins because of tightness or they fight you on it so it doesnt get clean properly 😦 and they get infections.
    I dont regret getting my boys at all. I was in the room with Avery as he was 2 weeks old and done as an outpatient and he made a little cry for about 5 seconds and was fine after. I also gave them tylenol after for my own satisfaction.
    Either way its a hard choice I know when I had Shay they even gave me material against circs at the hospital but my mind was made up and the nurse even winked at me and said
    we have to give this out”..lol
    BUT saying that I know others that dont have it done and have no problems too.

    Good luck deciding.

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  7. oh I wasn’t talking to you in particular lol I just hear that ‘reason’ a lot! We are all different 😉 Even every circ’d pee pee looks different lol I know all vagina’s are different too lol

    Like I said, I’m not on one side of the fence or the other.

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  8. Thanks for the links.

    I read the Dr. Sears ones because I have so much respect for him and that is who I thought of first..

    I seriously got to the time they were clamping him and had to shut if off in that google video.. There is just no way I could have my newborn son go through that, you would have to drug me…

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  9. Hey! I totally know you are so busy! Congrats on getting the keys to the house! You must be on cloud 9!!

    I know what you mean about feeling self conscious. I had never given it a second thought either, but then when I was doing the research I changed my mind.

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  10. My husband used this as his first excuse to get it done. I told him that I get that question from the girls all the time. Seeing as I no longer have my “little girl smooth, maintenance free vagina” LOL..

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  11. For some reason I keep hearing the opposite stories. I heard two today from friends who had their boys circ’d and then for some reason or another they had to have it redone at the age of 2 and another one at the age of 3…

    I think it is why it is such a personal decision.. It’s no longer recommended as absolutely needed and our insurance considers it cosmetic surgery. The only reason for us to do it would be for religious reasons, but biblically speaking there is no reason. Baptism is considered the outward sign for declaring your faith in Jesus, and not being circ’d..

    Anyway, I just want it figured out before he’s born so we aren’t having this debate in the hospital!

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  12. I, personally, think every person should have to watch a circ in its entirety before making the decision. I wanted Levi to watch one and he refused. There are a lot of misconceptions either way. My mom gave me a lot of flack, my Mother-in-law was totally supportive as she regrets having any of her sons done. If Faith had been a boy I would have done it, no questions asked. I was just uneducated and didn’t really care. Vance came 3rd and I did a lot of reading and the more I read the stronger I felt to not have it done. He is retracting fine and I am starting to teach him how to clean it. It is a really personal choice, but I do think that many people are opting out of it both because of insurance companies refusing to pay and out of increased awareness of it not being a necessary procedure. In our state the circ rate is around 50/50 so I don’t foresee him being overly self-conscious about it. For me it came down to the pain of it and I could not, in good contentiousness, do that for no good reason. 2 of my good friends chose not to do it and explained why and it was nice to have their support as well. I don’t bash anyone for doing it, but for me it was a very clear choice to not do it. As for Brian, I don’t have any advice. Levi was still for it when we went in to have him but knew we would probably not have it done. After watching him get stuck for over an hour to place his first IV he knew I wouldn’t put him through any more. I think he thought there was a chance I’d change my mind…even though I knew there never was.

    It is a really hard decision, I hope you can both find the one that makes you comfortable and happy! (((Hugs!!!)))

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  13. I’ve known two circ’d males who didn’t care or show in any shape or form that they were ashamed. Lost my virginity to one *blush*.. It is a personal issue. It would be completely different if the medical community said, you have to do this, but they don’t…

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  14. Both my boys are done because Mark wanted it done. With Remy for some reason I had no problems with it but with AJ I did not want it done but Mark felt very strongly about it. Mark was not circ’d and he says that if he wasn’t so chicken of doctors in general he’d get it done now because he says he gets irritated and the extra skin basically just annoys him.

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  15. I circ’ed my boys for various reasons. When I was working as a nurses’ aid, most of the aids had no idea how to care for an un circ’ed penis. The pay is ridiculously low and most of the education for nurse’s aids isn’t on hygiene for males who are not circ’ed. It’s usually “Gently pull back the foreskin… blah, blah, blah” and that’s it. I had heard of too many men who had urinary tract infections because the aids didn’t bathe them correctly. THAT bothered me and stuck with me forever. I just get terrified that my poor 89 year old son will be stuck in a home by his greedy children with an infected penis because someone making minimum wage didn’t understand what to do with the foreskin.

    the other situation I was afraid of is that boys as a general rule do not care about hygiene= until they find girls. From 8-13 there is just a funk that boys omit. I am not trying to be harsh, it’s a normal thing. I can’t even get my sons to brush their teeth every day, I have serious doubts they would keep their penis clean enough.

    I did all four of mine and I am glad I did. I certainly understand why parents make the choice NOT to do it. It is a decision that a lot of parents discuss for some time before making a choice. Your heart will lead you to the right decision for your family.

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  16. PS PLEASE note I WAS MINIMUM WAGE EARNING nurse’s Aid. I just read that back and I don’t want anyone to think I am kicking on nurse’s aids. It is a job with a VERY high turnover ratio. Geez. I don’t mean to sound callous, I am just trying to say sometimes it is hard to get good care without consistency and jobs involving cleaning up bodily functions with low pay don’t keep people there for too long.

    I got too attached to my residents. I got depressed ALL The time. I just could not do it and believe me, when Gramma was dying, SO MANY aides came in to kiss her goodbye. I know she was loved and that the aides took GREAT care of her.

    I hope I make sense. I feel like I am just digging a deeper hole. *SIGH*

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  17. I didnt do my boys because Matt isnt and didnt want it. I think personally if he was I would have done it because my whole family does it. I think personally in my opinion its more a religion thing and what people hear than anything. When I asked my mom why she did my brother she said she didnt know any better and everyone did it. So with me, we chose not to. And my dr said its all bull crap with the cleaning and infection and all with not being. My kids have not had a problem, so thats just us. And there is no special requirements I believe with them not having it.

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  18. I let Nathan choose because Nathan would have the most knowledge on what our son was experiencing when he went through the circ. We also thought it might be difficult for our son if he looked “different” from his daddy. So we went the circ route. Ben’s not old enough to know the difference, so I can’t tell you the long term benefits we’ve personally experienced.

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  19. Let me also add that I saw the procedure done on Ben (against many nurses’ wishes. I was very determined to be there for it.) It was done quickly. I’d say it was worse than a shot, but not too much worse for him at that young age. He screamed in pain more when they took blood from his feet for jaundice testing than when he had the circ done. Hope that helps some.

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  20. both of my boys are NOT circ’d, dh IS. we couldn’t put our newborn through that especially since it’s unneccisary. they’ve seen their dad’s, they’ve seens their friends, and so far (5 & 8yrs old) they’ve never been ashamed to whip it out at a urinal or on a tree – both situations where others might see them. and believe me, ALL boys *love* the urinal and gather around to wait their turn, lol.

    as far as cleaning, we’ve never had any problems. do not pull on it, it’ll seperate on it’s own, i forget the age but i believe it’s around 2-3yrs? we’re past it, and once we’re done with something the info just flies out of my head.

    we try to give our boys self-confidence, build them up, embrace their uniqueness, in every day life. every one is different. besides, their penis is in their pants – covered and not on display for all the world.

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  21. We didn’t circ Kai,we just didn’t see any need to alter part of him that was meant to be that way.I see some people have mentioned infection or being made fun of as reason to circumcise.Proper hygiene is key ( just like with any other body part!).We just live in a cruel world where people/children are made fun of regardless…so circ’ing because you don’t want your child to be made fun of is pretty silly to me.

    Anyway V,you guys will make a decision that will best suit your family and in the end that is what TRULY matters 🙂

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  22. we had David circumsized. we were young & uneducated. im ashamed of it. i cant believe i handed an innocent 1 day old baby over to be cut on for no reason.

    the rates are now at 55-60 % in the us . so that argument as a pro dosent hold water anymore.

    70% of the world is not circumsized. if there was really problems that arose from not having it done.. then im sure that would not be the case.

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